The birth of our son…☀︎
Our son is here!
Sharing a bit of our birth story below. It was sudden, joyous, surreal, excruciating, peaceful, intense, a dream come true…all at the same time, all perfectly designed.
I’m a huge advocate of filling your mind with beautiful things, especially during pregnancy, so I’m hesitant to share because the last thing I would want to do is instill fear when it comes to birth. However, even though things didn’t go to plan, I’m amazed at how God has used our suffering to refine our hearts.
We didn’t have our hospital bag packed, we didn’t have the car seat in the car, we didn’t finish the nursery. I’ve always said I wanted to pursue a simplistic ethos when it came to parenting & God really said…okay let’s go, let’s do it! Truly proving that all the frivolous layers don’t matter at all.
When people asked me about my birth plan, I said my plan was to have a healthy & happy baby. However, I also have been fascinated by pregnancy/birth for years & loved the idea of a more holistic approach. Our doula was hired, and I was doing my stretches every day, eating nutritious food, getting rest, all to prepare for an unmedicated birth.
One morning around 34 weeks pregnant, I started bleeding…heavily. We rushed to the hospital, they did all the tests, exams, and ultrasound. Baby looked perfect and happy as can be. My placenta on the other hand appeared to start to detach. We spent two days on the high-risk floor of the hospital on 24/7 monitoring hoping to keep him in, nice & cozy. He was always steady & happy but my bleeding continued & the cramping/contractions picked up.
Knowing my body was no longer the safest place for my baby crushed me. However, I felt an undeniable peace that this was our story & the safest option was for today to be his birthday. A few hours later, I was brought down for a c-section. I have so many women in my life who have had c-sections but you truly don’t think much of it until you’re there in the OR room. WOW.
The physical pain I felt after the c-section felt like a walk in the park compared to the pain it felt to leave our baby in someone else’s care after carrying & growing him for so long. I’ve always said I wanted to surrender & be as peaceful as possible throughout pregnancy/birth/parenthood & that was the truest test. The first few days I was in true fighter flight mode. Focusing on pumping so he would have as much milk as possible & trying to be calm so he would still feel safe. There were MANY waves of intense emotion but being covered in prayers & God’s peace swiftly brought us back to the fact & joy that our baby is here, overall healthy, & alive.
One of the most emotional parts of our birth was the true tender care we experienced from the surgeons, nurses, doctors, & NICU team full of real-life angels.
I wish I could give them the world because they helped care for our world.
The days passed so slowly yet so quickly as we spent time in our little NICU room watching him grow, watching him get stronger. Even though I wished he was still growing in my womb, I kept telling myself how unique & beautiful it is that I get to watch him grow right in front of my eyes, right in my arms.
It’s wild how the most intense journey can so quickly turn into a blip for the baby book. Now we are HOME sweet home—treasuring & savoring each day more than we ever could before.
